“Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90. Time is a concept that humans created.” ― Yoko Ono
I had to find joy again. Joy on the bike. The thing that makes it fun. The thing that gives it purpose, reason.
I first started to ride a bike for three reasons: to lose weight and avoid diabetes, to get around town with the kids (bike trailer is easier than car seats), and to train for a race. Fun? No. Not the reason. But I quickly found that fun was the byproduct. And that’s what kept me going. That and my fierce determination to be awesome.
So it’s been odd that I don’t seem to have any of those same reasons presently. I have really only been riding for fun. And with the big race and a couple of exploratory (read: “unpleasant”) rides since then, I’ve been somewhat more than burned out on the whole bike thing.
Well today I went to hit the trail and find the fun again. I wanted to feel like a kid on a bike again. I wanted to ride free and loose and just let my body do what it knows how to do- find the flow.
I think for at least a little bit, I did. Okay, maybe more than a little bit. Maybe a lot a bit. When I finished up the ride I’d had a great time- ridden for about 2 hours and 18.5 miles. I was tired, but I was smiling.
But it got me to thinking about those motivations I used to have. I wonder if I could rekindle them? I wonder how I lost them to begin with? What has taken priority over them? would I rather fun be the motivational factor or the byproduct.
I can’t say I have answers to these questions yet, but I’m exploring them. In the non-suffering way. And I feel encouraged.