“Looks like what drives me crazy
Don’t have no effect on you–
But I’m gonna keep on at it
Till it drives you crazy, too.”
― Langston HughesSelected Poems

I had a bad day yesterday. Maybe one of the low points of my life.

Now you’d think that going out mountain biking with a bit of a death wish was probably not the best idea. You probably think that having a sense of self-preservation is one essential to have with you when you are going to be out soloing a technical trail miles from the nearest population.

That’s just not me. I’ll get out there, bordering on suicidal, and the heat of my pulse blending with the heat of the sun, the scent of nature, the beautiful surroundings…these remind me that I’m still alive, and that’s not an entire waste. As was the case today.

I dropped the kids at school and headed out to ride Mary’s and Steve’s. The sun was amazing, the trails were perfection. I was alone and could easily pace myself. I was worried I wouldn’t have enough time to complete the lollipop route I had planned, since the last time I did it I was equally locked into a timeframe and was unable to complete the ride in time.

But there was no issue with that today. Once I was warmed-up, my body just flew down the trail. I pushed the speed, banked the corners, and let my body add suspension to the whole system. It felt great.

Sometimes I go so long with a bad stretch of riding, I forget that it’s fun and I’m actually not too bad at it. Thankfully, today was one of those magical days where the stars aligned and I felt great and rode amazing and I decided that even though my life is a complete pile of poop in so many ways, at least I have this.

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